Im talking like, parents that are all the time, Jonny is perfect, does nothing wrong. And even when the kid does horrible things right in front of them, they still do nothing and think they are perfect. These kids just get away with everything and are Satan’s Spawns!!! Why is this??
It’s easier to act oblivious and ignorant than take responsibility for your child and discipline them.

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I wasn’t sure how to put that in a question. What I’m looking for is a book that will help me communicate with my children (10 and up) better. Or help my children communicate with eachother better. I have “How to Talk so Kids Will Listen…” and also “Siblings Without Rivalry”. Something along those lines. Can you help and recommend some? Thanks
Try 7 habbits of highly affective teens by sean covey jr,, yeah it’s really good

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Discipline and Fathers Everybody agrees that children need their freedom. Yet on the other hand everybody agrees there is a need for greater discipline. This is the contradiction every parent faces in bringing up their own children. According to Lamb in ‘The father’s role: Cross-cultural perspectives’ research emphasizes the important role of fathers in helping children to learn the standards of behavior for their group and to develop the capacity of self-regulation. When fathers are absent, curtail, or ignore their child-rearing responsibilities, there are implications throughout the family system. Mothers are likely to feel unsupported, abandoned, angry, and resentful. The resulting tension exacerbates the child’s challenging behaviors. Lack of parental involvement by the father leaves the mother as the sole unsupported teacher of social skills and deprives the child of another role model. Campbell says in ‘Behavior Problems in Preschool Children: Clinical and Developmental Issues’ when fathers do not participate in child rearing, the results can be heightened intensity and duration of mother–child conflict and problems in discipline.

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Trailer for teach2talk’s Social Skills! Volume 1 – Sharing. teach2talk’s Social Skills! series of DVD videos helps teach children appropriate social behaviors through the use of targeted video modeling. Volume 1 of our Social Skills! series, Sharing, focuses on a critical component of every child’s socialization — learning to share — by modeling appropriate sharing behaviors in a variety of scenarios and settings, and by incorporating humor and songs to keep children engaged and provide additional reinforcement. teach2talk’s goal with Sharing is to help children find enjoyment in sharing their experiences and possessions with other people. In addition to helping teach children how to share, this video also helps teach children appropriate language to use when sharing. This video is appropriate for children of all ages, whether as an introduction to the concept of sharing or as a reinforcer or refresher on the concept.

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RESEARCH!!!!

In regards to children who have behavior problems. The first thing that you have to look at with children who have “behavior” problems is their parents. Second is if there is an underlying cause for the behavior. Like chemical imbalance or brain injury. What can be done for them is to first find the cause and then address the issue accordingly. Having worked in the public school system for several years I have found that many of the behavior problems stem from “parenting styles” . Go and visit a local grade school and interview some teachers they will have some great input. Good Luck in your research.

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I need some ideas on how to promote positive behavior in a 9th grader who has been diagnoised with emotional disturbance. Thanks for any ideas!
i have no idea why the behaviors exist. i am the teacher. he is bad in class. i need to help him someway……..

I am so thankful for all the caring teachers such as you. The emotional disturbance could be any number of mental problems. He could have OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), Bipolar, ADHD, ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or something else I would suggest you speak to the school counselor who may have some great suggestions for you and then maybe hold a parent-teacher conference on how to handle him in school. Since the parents have dealt with him all his life, they probably know some things that work better than others and maybe they can explain his diagnosis so you can research it. Since he has an emotional disorder he may be eligible for special ed resources unless he’s already in special ed…has anyone ever evaluated him for additional resource help? I would suggest eye contact, taking him aside and letting him know it’s not acceptable behavior, that you believe in him, and use consistency then work on positive reinforcement. If he does show good behavior in class at any point let him know after class what is was that you liked and appreciated. Keep trying to notice any amount of the good behavior and keep letting him know about it. Maybe eventually he will start trying harder to please you so he doesn’t let you down. Kids really don’t want to be a failure. You may become the teacher that made a positive difference in his life that he will remember forever and appreciate what you did for him. When kids, with problems like his, are constantly told they are bad, they start believing it and they stop trying because “what’s the use”. Your school librarian probably has books on ADHD and there are really good tips on handling defiance. I wish you luck.

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My child is acting out, especially in school. I was wondering if PMT might help us with his behaviors and if it would carryover to school. He is 3.10 and a social worker friend was wondering if maybe he has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Thanks for any input.
I’m a psychologist and do Parent Management Training (or other things like it) with folks often. It involves, primarily, working with the parents to develop a system for reducing a child’s negative behaviors and increasing their positive ones. The main thing is to set up consequences for a child’s behavior and BE CONSISTENT! The way I do it, I start off having parents monitor whatever behaviors (e.g. tantrums, talking back, hitting, etc) they want to decrease–just to have a baseline of how often the behavior is occurring. Then parents and I develop consequences for behaviors and begin implementing them. Once negative behaviors begin to decrease, we begin rewarding behaviors (sitting quietly, doing what they are told the first time, helping, etc) we want to increase. The main thing about Parent Management Training is that it is really about the parents–not the kids. It is training parents to mold their child’s behavior by changing the way they react to their child’s misbehavior. If the parent isn’t willing to put in the effort required for things like charting behavior and being consistent (even when you’re tired or it’s inconvenient!), then it’s not going to take. Good luck

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They are eight and ten year old boys. I am having a hard time being consistent. The specific behaviors I need reasonable consequences for are hitting, name calling, tattling and talking back. I also have a small baby, and am a bit overwhelmed. Therefore I end up handling each situation differently. It is not working. Please help!!!
Consistency is the key. Consistency and firmness. Don’t back down and don’t give in. Don’t say things you aren’t ready to follow up on. Also, the consequences have to be immediate. When they talk back, DO NOT try to explain or reason with them. Simply refuse to accept or listen to the disrepect. Whatever led up to it is immediately over. They have to know they have crossed the line. This is the most important issue to deal with because the others stem from this feeling that they are equal in authority to you. Also, choose your battles. Don’t try to mediate something you haven’t been witness to. Tell them they need to sort things out themselves or seperate them. For one thing, when they tattle they are trying to get your attention. With the new baby, they are feeling threatened. If you give them this kind of attention, they will keep trying to get it. Instead, when they are behaving nicely, cuddle them. They aren’t too old. They may push you away, but they will be smiling inside when they do. When the hitting and name-calling take place in your presence, deal with it immediately. Some consequences can be to remove a privilege or assign a chore. If they have TVs or games in their rooms, remove them. The next time they ask for a new toy or privilege, remind them of their behavior and say no. They should have to earn privileges and such. Don’t indulge them. Remember too, that this is all normal behavior. You are doing a good job that you are concerned and asking the questions. But you are under a lot of stress with the new baby and two young boys in the house. They may be sensing that as well. If you came from my background, laying on the guilt would work. “Big boys of 8 and 10 should be helping mom out when she has a new baby, not making life more difficult for her.”

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I readed an nice article from Rod Galloway (the New Zealand Foundation for Character Education and a Dunedin principal). This was all about self-control key to learning.

This article was written earlier this month and it was revealed that recent Ministry of Education statistics on disruptive behaviour demonstrate a cause for concern in our primary schools. Rod Galloway suggests Character Eduction provides an answer.

A class photo taken recently at our school captures the teacher with a rather strained look.

Standing beside her was a 6-year-old who wouldn’t even look at the camera, let alone smile. Moments earlier, a simple instruction to move into rows and face the camera had become the catalyst for a major confrontation.

Without warning, the 6-year-old suddenly declared he was not taking part.

An experienced and understanding teacher reasoned with the boy to join the class.

This confrontation with a strong-willed and defiant child led to the teacher being physically struck.

While she was trying to restrain and calm the boy, he spat in her face. Clearly, this is not the behaviour we expect, experience often or tolerate. Nor was it the photo opportunity we had been hoping for.

This is a short extraction of the press release from Rod Galloway on Self control and behavior.

To read the full article on child behaviour problems and self control click here

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It is reported that most ADHD cases in children develop before the age of 7, but the diagnosis comes only when there are problems in their development. For instance, parents or other relatives notice symptoms of ADHD in a child only when he/she exhibits a behavior which is inappropriate in attention or the child shows disability to keep track of his/her belongings.

Read the full story here about child behaviour problems and ADHD

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