Is This Normal Toddler Behavior?
My 2.5 year old boy attends a daycare with about 12 kids in his class. He had a buddy that he played with constantly and we all thought it was funny they were always hanging out together but now the staff there are making comments that they are too fixated on each other and when together they just act silly and disruptive so they are trying to separate them as much as possible but they said my little guy is always looking for his buddy and asking for him and if he’s not playing with him due to the teachers separating them, my little guy just stares at his buddy. They keep referring to his “fixation” and i’m beginning to get worried. I’m going to call management tomorrow to see if they are really concerned or if it’s just the caregivers makeing a deal out of typical toddler behavior. My little guy is an only child, LOVES people and playing. Any insight on this? No freaky and rude replies please. Just your experience in this? Thank you.
This is so normal. I would do just as you said and give the manager a call. The only reason I could see for separating them would be if one or both were doing something inappropriate.. which too would be indicitive of this age, lol. By them making such a big deal over it, they are only making the boys want to play together more. You might even be able to catch the other boys mom or dad and ask for a play date. This way you could both watch the boys and see if there is any cause for concern. But, I am with you on this one… I really get the impression that these two staff members are young, probably don’t have kids of their own yet and are just being – well – young and immature about the situation. Tell the manager that unless there is inappropriate behaviour, then the two boys need to be let alone. I have two boys that are years apart in age, and this was normal behaviour for both and now they are older and are just fine, lol. I hope this helped some!!! Good Luck! 
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Even if it's not "normal" I think it's fine. Kids get attached to the mundane, they don't really like change, so he's comfortable. maybe the other kid reminds your boy of you or dad, or something else of comfort at home. Kids like most humans are always going to gravitate to what makes them most comfortable, if he didn't that's what I would be most worried about.
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This is so normal. I would do just as you said and give the manager a call. The only reason I could see for separating them would be if one or both were doing something inappropriate.. which too would be indicitive of this age, lol.
By them making such a big deal over it, they are only making the boys want to play together more.
You might even be able to catch the other boys mom or dad and ask for a play date. This way you could both watch the boys and see if there is any cause for concern. But, I am with you on this one… I really get the impression that these two staff members are young, probably don't have kids of their own yet and are just being – well – young and immature about the situation. Tell the manager that unless there is inappropriate behaviour, then the two boys need to be let alone.
I have two boys that are years apart in age, and this was normal behaviour for both and now they are older and are just fine, lol.
I hope this helped some!!! Good Luck!
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I'm 18 years old, but have been working in a preschool since I was fourteen, so this is coming from experience in child care, not parenting. "Fixation" has a different meaning to you then to them. To them, they are trying to do their job by keeping all the children in the room happy and cared for, while trying to maintain a little bit of sanity. =] When kids become close with one another, they feed off of each other, ESPECIALLY only children. So if one of the boys does something silly, and the other laughs, then they do it again. And to each other. And to others. And as harmless as it may seem, slight disruptions evolve into big head aches for the staff and bad behavior from the kids. I know its sad, but I'm hoping if the staff is actually concerned about this, than it is actually a problem, and not them being lazy or dramatic. Kids do become focused on one another, with is totally fine, as long as they aren't disruptive or cruel. Call and talk to management if you like, but I guarentee you they know nothing about your childs actual ways and behavior. Those who work with your son, actually in the room, will know. Try and get to the core of the problem with them first. =]
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Sounds like the daycare is just interested in breaking up a promising friendship in the interest of keeping down classroom disruption. After all, the boys are only 2 1/2, so I'm not sure how disruptive they could be being! My son is 3, and he has a best buddy at his school that he's attached to from the moment he arrives in the morning. This is definitely typical toddler behavior. Just don't be surprised if he switches buddies at some point and is just as "fixated" on the new one! This incident does cast some suspicion in my mind about the level of care at this facility. If the teachers are so intent on keeping down silly behavior (they are toddlers, for goodness sakes!) that they would discourage the boys from spending time together, you might want to look at a new daycare. Good luck!
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Hearing this kind of makes me mad that they'd label it as something bad like a "fixation". It's very normal for children to bond with other children and occasionally more so to one in specific. If he's doing fine with socializing with others in general (doesn't shy away or is hard to get to play with other children) and just seems to prefer the other's company, then there is really nothing to worry over at all.
My own son has a buddy exactly like this that he favors over other children and I know quite a few other mommies that also have 2 1/2yr olds that have best buddies. I think that the daycare doesn't want them to bond specifically because daycare is a place where children are supposed to learn to socialize with each other. So long as your son and his friend have no troubles socializing with other children then I would tell that daycare to stop interferring in your sons special friendship. It could hurt him worse to try to keep him from seeing that other toddler by subjecting him to seperation anxiety and also teaching him about how not to trust adults.
If I were you I'd take a stand on this no matter what the daycare people say because they're terrible at pushing mommies into doing what they think is right in order to make their center an easier place to manage. I'd also talk to the other little tot's parents and see if they have a problem with your two children bonding or are also getting annoyed with the daycare themselves and if not perhaps talk to them about the possible negative effects that could happen should they be constantly seperated.
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Hi… from a mom of two little boys ages 1 and 2, this is perfectly NORMAL. If the teachers are telling you to be concerned that he has a best friend, then you might want to look into the daycare a little closer and find out if it is a place where you really want your son if they will not let him play with his friend. I understand that they do need to teach them to control themselves while in class, aka paying attention and listening…but separating the two of them and calling it a fixation is going a bit too far. My aunt has owned a daycare for over 20 years and this would be a sign for me to take a closer look at my caregivers.
Good luck hun and trust your instincts, there's a reason you're his mom.
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I dont think its weird kids are just younger people and i know alot of people who are just best friends and do everything together . people really read into things to much these days seperating two kids that get along well because they may get a little loud that just seems like the people running the place are in the wrong business kids are loud obnoxious and annoying especially at that age not trying to insult i have a young child myself
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I think it's perfectly normal. He's 2 and a half, he's suppose to have freinds that he likes to play with most of the time. He needs constant things in his life and his lil buddy is that constant. I think it's just the workers being stupid and making a big deal out of nothing.
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Mother of 4 yr old
why are they separating them? that's horrible. I understand separating two children who are disruptive during story time but not during playtime – that's cruel. If they are disruptive like being rough or banging trucks into each other – tell them to make another choice. Yes, speak to the management – this sounds ridiculous. Unless there is something going on that we're not hearing or understanding, this is wrong.
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teacher, mom, grandmom
if 2 kids are disruptive, they will separate them so they dont have to stress or yell at them. its normal
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i work at a daycare
First, so-called teachers, especially unqualified ones who typically babysit preschoolers, want an easy job. If your child is more work or requires more attention or cuts into their break time, then the babysitter-teachers will take corrective action and start applying labels telling you that YOU have a problem. Second, you wouldn't have this issue if you were a SAHM.
Bottom line: ignore their silly labels and ask them to do their job.
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I don't think it's abnormal at all. Not at this age at least. I have a 4 year old that has a best friend in preschool- and they are inseparable. I think labeling it a "fixation" is a big mistake on the teacher's part. They just like each other a lot, and believe me- some kids just have chemistry and hit it off- and end up winding each other up and being silly all the time. I wouldn't worry uneccessarily.
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I taught Headstart for four years. 3 and 4 year olds.
poor you and poor little kid he has just found someone he gets on well with and is comfortable with talk to management they might need to find ways to channel a little boys natural naughtiness X2lol in a more positive way than seperating them which doesnt teach them anything and makes them both miserable. good luck i hope it all turns out ok for you both
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first, let me begin by telling you that i have been a preschool teacher for 8 years , all of my experience has been with 2 and 3 year olds , and i am a mother of a 2 1/2 yr. old myself.his behavior is perfectly normal. the problem is with his teachers.your child DOES NOT have a "fixation" if the friendship is mutual. if the other child avoided him, and believe me, he would if he did not like your child, then there might be a problem . however even then i would not go as far as calling it a fixation . if anything the two of them together may be "difficult". 2yr. olds create bonds just like anyone else . he is obviously attached to this child because they are best friends. if they are becoming to rowdy or disruptive it is their job to redirect their behavior at the first signs so as to prevent bad behavior. they can do this by redirecting there attention to other more acceptable behavior. after spending time with your children we should be able to know that special activity or toy that captures their attention .( playdough, stringing beads, shoeboxsize sandbox with small funnels and spoons) you hide it away in the cabinet and save it for such time of day. a routine should be set so that the children know this is a special toy that can only be used at a designated table by only one person at time. each child might be drawn to a different activity or the other might be left to play with a new friend for awhile .they can also be asked to be special helpers in which case if you don't have a job at the moment make one up.give them a wipe and ask them to help wipe tabletops. 5 or 10 minutes should allow them enough of a break to calm down and continue playing with each other . small breaks are okay though mom, and you have to except that. if they have a schedule to follow and they are too difficult . like during story time, or circle time ( this is when we are teaching), even perhaps during lunch, definetly during nap. during free time they should NOT be separated for extended periods of time.
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