I need some ideas on how to promote positive behavior in a 9th grader who has been diagnoised with emotional disturbance. Thanks for any ideas!
i have no idea why the behaviors exist. i am the teacher. he is bad in class. i need to help him someway……..

I am so thankful for all the caring teachers such as you. The emotional disturbance could be any number of mental problems. He could have OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), Bipolar, ADHD, ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or something else I would suggest you speak to the school counselor who may have some great suggestions for you and then maybe hold a parent-teacher conference on how to handle him in school. Since the parents have dealt with him all his life, they probably know some things that work better than others and maybe they can explain his diagnosis so you can research it. Since he has an emotional disorder he may be eligible for special ed resources unless he’s already in special ed…has anyone ever evaluated him for additional resource help? I would suggest eye contact, taking him aside and letting him know it’s not acceptable behavior, that you believe in him, and use consistency then work on positive reinforcement. If he does show good behavior in class at any point let him know after class what is was that you liked and appreciated. Keep trying to notice any amount of the good behavior and keep letting him know about it. Maybe eventually he will start trying harder to please you so he doesn’t let you down. Kids really don’t want to be a failure. You may become the teacher that made a positive difference in his life that he will remember forever and appreciate what you did for him. When kids, with problems like his, are constantly told they are bad, they start believing it and they stop trying because “what’s the use”. Your school librarian probably has books on ADHD and there are really good tips on handling defiance. I wish you luck.

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On Children’s Behavior www.childrensbehaviour.net — If you are a parent struggling to deal with a Defiant Child, Child Tantrums, Child Anxiety, an ADHD child and more? Why? There are easy ways of handling these problems but you are not told about this information from companies that just want to sell you drugs for your child. Check out the Raising Children Good Child Guide seminar at www.childrensbehaviourhelp.net

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It is the child that acts a certain way in an environment. A child can do something for attention, yet in the same environment a sibling of the same age and gender can react totaly different. People blame parents… and then the parents blame themselves… can’t it be ok that we are all doing our best…. why must we be blamed or cristisized if our child acts a certain way?
Face it we are products of our environment. When a small child acts out in public people will look the other way, or try to sooth the child. When they are tots it is acceptable for them to throw fits, or cry for no reason. When the child is nine ten eleven even at five or six the public expects you to have instilled proper behavior skills in them. When a seven year old is throwing a fit in a store people expect to see you either correct them or remove them. Its not that people think you arent doing your best, they think that you should handle the right now to their satifaction. Think about it this way, you are a parent, their parent, and NO_ONE has the right to judge your parenting skills. We can only hope and pray that they dont totally embarrass us, and when they do, all we can do is grin and thank god that we have them at all.

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My child is acting out, especially in school. I was wondering if PMT might help us with his behaviors and if it would carryover to school. He is 3.10 and a social worker friend was wondering if maybe he has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Thanks for any input.
I’m a psychologist and do Parent Management Training (or other things like it) with folks often. It involves, primarily, working with the parents to develop a system for reducing a child’s negative behaviors and increasing their positive ones. The main thing is to set up consequences for a child’s behavior and BE CONSISTENT! The way I do it, I start off having parents monitor whatever behaviors (e.g. tantrums, talking back, hitting, etc) they want to decrease–just to have a baseline of how often the behavior is occurring. Then parents and I develop consequences for behaviors and begin implementing them. Once negative behaviors begin to decrease, we begin rewarding behaviors (sitting quietly, doing what they are told the first time, helping, etc) we want to increase. The main thing about Parent Management Training is that it is really about the parents–not the kids. It is training parents to mold their child’s behavior by changing the way they react to their child’s misbehavior. If the parent isn’t willing to put in the effort required for things like charting behavior and being consistent (even when you’re tired or it’s inconvenient!), then it’s not going to take. Good luck

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They are eight and ten year old boys. I am having a hard time being consistent. The specific behaviors I need reasonable consequences for are hitting, name calling, tattling and talking back. I also have a small baby, and am a bit overwhelmed. Therefore I end up handling each situation differently. It is not working. Please help!!!
Consistency is the key. Consistency and firmness. Don’t back down and don’t give in. Don’t say things you aren’t ready to follow up on. Also, the consequences have to be immediate. When they talk back, DO NOT try to explain or reason with them. Simply refuse to accept or listen to the disrepect. Whatever led up to it is immediately over. They have to know they have crossed the line. This is the most important issue to deal with because the others stem from this feeling that they are equal in authority to you. Also, choose your battles. Don’t try to mediate something you haven’t been witness to. Tell them they need to sort things out themselves or seperate them. For one thing, when they tattle they are trying to get your attention. With the new baby, they are feeling threatened. If you give them this kind of attention, they will keep trying to get it. Instead, when they are behaving nicely, cuddle them. They aren’t too old. They may push you away, but they will be smiling inside when they do. When the hitting and name-calling take place in your presence, deal with it immediately. Some consequences can be to remove a privilege or assign a chore. If they have TVs or games in their rooms, remove them. The next time they ask for a new toy or privilege, remind them of their behavior and say no. They should have to earn privileges and such. Don’t indulge them. Remember too, that this is all normal behavior. You are doing a good job that you are concerned and asking the questions. But you are under a lot of stress with the new baby and two young boys in the house. They may be sensing that as well. If you came from my background, laying on the guilt would work. “Big boys of 8 and 10 should be helping mom out when she has a new baby, not making life more difficult for her.”

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